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    Posts Tagged ‘Fred Allen’

    I like long walks, especially when they

    “I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.”

    — Fred Allen

    Author: Fred Allen
    Category: funny
    Tags: funny, Fred Allen

     

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    Most of us spend the first six

    “Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats; then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.”

    — Fred Allen

    Author: Fred Allen
    Category: failure
    Tags: failure, Fred Allen

     

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    Television is a medium because anything well

    “Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.”

    — Fred Allen

    Author: Fred Allen
    Category: technology
    Tags: technology, Fred Allen

     

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    My father never raised his hand to

    “My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense.”

    — Fred Allen

    Author: Fred Allen
    Category: dad
    Tags: dad, Fred Allen

     

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    An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion

    “An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.”

    — Fred Allen

    Author: Fred Allen
    Category: business
    Tags: business, Fred Allen

     

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    We are living in the machine age.

    “We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.”

    — Fred Allen

    Author: Fred Allen
    Category: age
    Tags: age, Fred Allen

     

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    I have just returned from Boston. It

    “I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself up there.”

    — Fred Allen

    Author: Fred Allen
    Category: funny
    Tags: funny, Fred Allen

     

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    The first time I sang in the

    “The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.”

    — Fred Allen

    Author: Fred Allen
    Category: funny
    Tags: funny, Fred Allen

     

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    California is a fine place to live

    “California is a fine place to live – if you happen to be an orange.”

    — Fred Allen

    Author: Fred Allen
    Category: funny
    Tags: funny, Fred Allen

     

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    We are living in the machine age.

    “We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.”

    — Fred Allen

    Author: Fred Allen
    Category: history
    Tags: history, Fred Allen

     

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    I learned law so well, the day

    “I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.”

    — Fred Allen

    Author: Fred Allen
    Category: graduation
    Tags: graduation, Fred Allen

     

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    The first time I sang in the

    “The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.”

    — Fred Allen

    Author: Fred Allen
    Category: religion
    Tags: religion, Fred Allen

     

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    The first time I sang in the

    “The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.”

    — Fred Allen

    Author: Fred Allen
    Category: time
    Tags: time, Fred Allen

     

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