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    Posts Tagged ‘Johnny Carson’

    I know a man who gave up

    “I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.”

    — Johnny Carson

    Author: Johnny Carson
    Category: food
    Tags: food, Johnny Carson

     

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    Married men live longer than single men.

    “Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die.”

    — Johnny Carson

    Author: Johnny Carson
    Category: marriage
    Tags: marriage, Johnny Carson

     

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    The only thing money gives you is

    “The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money.”

    — Johnny Carson

    Author: Johnny Carson
    Category: freedom
    Tags: freedom, Johnny Carson

     

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    I was so naive as a kid

    “I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing.”

    — Johnny Carson

    Author: Johnny Carson
    Category: funny
    Tags: funny, Johnny Carson

     

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    For days after death hair and fingernails

    “For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off.”

    — Johnny Carson

    Author: Johnny Carson
    Category: death
    Tags: death, Johnny Carson

     

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    Married men live longer than single men.

    “Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die.”

    — Johnny Carson

    Author: Johnny Carson
    Category: men
    Tags: men, Johnny Carson

     

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    If variety is the spice of life,

    “If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.”

    — Johnny Carson

    Author: Johnny Carson
    Category: marriage
    Tags: marriage, Johnny Carson

     

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    Mail your packages early so the post

    “Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.”

    — Johnny Carson

    Author: Johnny Carson
    Category: funny
    Tags: funny, Johnny Carson

     

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    Mail your packages early so the post

    “Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.”

    — Johnny Carson

    Author: Johnny Carson
    Category: time
    Tags: time, Johnny Carson

     

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