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    Posts Tagged ‘Rodney Dangerfield’

    Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It

    “Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask. Each time an actor acts he does not hide; he exposes himself.”

    — Rodney Dangerfield

    Author: Rodney Dangerfield
    Category: time
    Tags: time, Rodney Dangerfield

     

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    I looked up my family tree and

    “I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.”

    — Rodney Dangerfield

    Author: Rodney Dangerfield
    Category: pet
    Tags: pet, Rodney Dangerfield

     

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    My wife met me at the door

    “My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.”

    — Rodney Dangerfield

    Author: Rodney Dangerfield
    Category: home
    Tags: home, Rodney Dangerfield

     

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    I remember the time I was kidnapped

    “I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.”

    — Rodney Dangerfield

    Author: Rodney Dangerfield
    Category: time
    Tags: time, Rodney Dangerfield

     

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    When I was born I was so

    “When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.”

    — Rodney Dangerfield

    Author: Rodney Dangerfield
    Category: medical
    Tags: medical, Rodney Dangerfield

     

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    My mother had morning sickness after I

    “My mother had morning sickness after I was born.”

    — Rodney Dangerfield

    Author: Rodney Dangerfield
    Category: morning
    Tags: morning, Rodney Dangerfield

     

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    This morning when I put on my

    “This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me.”

    — Rodney Dangerfield

    Author: Rodney Dangerfield
    Category: morning
    Tags: morning, Rodney Dangerfield

     

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    My wife wants sex in the back

    “My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive.”

    — Rodney Dangerfield

    Author: Rodney Dangerfield
    Category: car
    Tags: car, Rodney Dangerfield

     

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    I looked up my family tree and

    “I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.”

    — Rodney Dangerfield

    Author: Rodney Dangerfield
    Category: family
    Tags: family, Rodney Dangerfield

     

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    I told my wife the truth. I

    “I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.”

    — Rodney Dangerfield

    Author: Rodney Dangerfield
    Category: truth
    Tags: truth, Rodney Dangerfield

     

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    I went to a fight the other

    “I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.”

    — Rodney Dangerfield

    Author: Rodney Dangerfield
    Category: sports
    Tags: sports, Rodney Dangerfield

     

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    I looked up my family tree and

    “I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.”

    — Rodney Dangerfield

    Author: Rodney Dangerfield
    Category: funny
    Tags: funny, Rodney Dangerfield

     

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    I found there was only one way

    “I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.”

    — Rodney Dangerfield

    Author: Rodney Dangerfield
    Category: funny
    Tags: funny, Rodney Dangerfield

     

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    I worked in a pet store and

    “I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get.”

    — Rodney Dangerfield

    Author: Rodney Dangerfield
    Category: pet
    Tags: pet, Rodney Dangerfield

     

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    What a dog I got, his favorite

    “What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.”

    — Rodney Dangerfield

    Author: Rodney Dangerfield
    Category: pet
    Tags: pet, Rodney Dangerfield

     

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